Going through heartbreak is one of the trials of a lifetime–of the soul. Everything that was once familiar and taken for granted is now gone, destroyed, lost–but not forgotten. If only it could be forgotten! You won’t be at your best. It’s as simple as that.
In my last entry, I had a quote that said your heart has to be big enough to hold a horse race inside. How do you do this when everything feels wrong and you feel weak? Even if you can muster up the presence to show up and do your best for others and yourself, you will fail–miserably and often. Sometimes your big and beautiful intentions will come to naught. You won’t get any farther than tripping over your own feet. Such moments feel like there is no point, like all you can do is give up.
What do you do? — You forgive yourself. You have two choices: you can either feel guilty and hate yourself as well as everything you’ve lost, or you can forgive yourself for struggling, for wanting to be happy, for being vulnerable, and for having a heart. If you truly want to share deep compassion with the world, you have to begin with yourself. That’s how your heart grows to hold even the hardest emotions with tender equanimity–growing to the size of holding a horse race. This doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to push yourself to learn and to get beyond your own mistakes; instead, it’s giving yourself the gift of patience to do just that.
May this plant a seed of compassion in anyone out there who suffers from the pain of a broken heart.
Gassho!
Previous Heartbreak Wisdom Journal Entry– Entry 5: Depression – Experience & Practice
Next Heartbreak Wisdom Journal Entry– Entry 7: Letting go of the Person You Used to Be (Part1)
On the Way 
Mar 26, 2015 @ 19:34:12
You are definitely right about forgiving yourself! I can appreciate these entries. ❤ I understand heartbreak. A lot of my art and writing when I started blogging was inspired by my own conflicted feelings for someone. They strung me along, adding to my confusion, for years. They were only ever a friend. I won't pretend the memory of it doesn't still make me wince. If it hadn't happened though, I wouldn't be on the path I'm on now. I sought nature to comfort me in my heartbreak and feeling of being lost. Not just him of course, but everything really. Perhaps I can elaborate more in a later post. Looking forward to catching up on all the posts I missed!
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Mar 26, 2015 @ 21:50:38
Thank you so much for sharing! I’d love to read your story in your own post. Heartbreak has really kick-started my path and deepened it as well. I’ve read and loved Zen Buddhism for years, but heartbreak brought me into really practicing instead of just having an intellectual interest. That’s probably very clear in the shift from my earliest posts to the ones that I started writing in December and onwards. Thank you for the kind support (it can be tough being this vulnerable at times) and the spark of camaraderie. I’m looking forward to your own posts and any interaction you bring here.
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Apr 01, 2015 @ 22:24:26
Love this post, great thoughts, just a solid sense of compassion and vulnerability
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Apr 01, 2015 @ 22:35:57
Thank you very much! I really appreciate the affirmation. It’s difficult at times sharing such vulnerable posts, and it’s great to hear that they are appreciated by others out there.
Gassho! (Bow of gratitude)
Z
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