The following is a piece from a new journalling practice: Morning Pages. I approach these without any real agenda beyond writing three pages every morning. This entry began with questioning what to write and not wanting to stick in going on and on about negative feelings. I didn’t want to share that intro here and the personal details of what I “could” talk about, as the shift at the end is the point.
…Why grab onto negativity like that if not expressing to someone else, getting it out, or resolving? I’ve talked about it at length with others.
No, we all too readily fall into the patterns that bind, defining ourselves–struggle by struggle, habit by habit. We’d rather invest our time and energy in these than step out into uncharted waters or develop more positive habits that open our hearts and our vision–like meditation.
Is uncertainty–facing the fact that our selves hold a blank canvas of possibility–really so terrifying? Would we really rather pin ourselves down in our identity: I’m defined as such and such, and it explains everything about me?
There’s a lot of wonder in us. We’d prefer to dilute it with something safe–something known. The known here, however, is but a mask, a creation, not the discovery from investigation.
One of the beauties of meditation is the opportunity to face ourselves in an open space of self-reflection. Seeing the flowing nature of our thoughts, experiences, feelings, and ourselves, all these things we hold dear as definite. They emerge, shift, shine, and pass moment by moment: a dance of unfolding wonder, no matter how much we might try to staticize them.
I’d like to use this journal for that open exploration, allowing the words to flow through me, offering my mind in its open potential as creative unfolding.
What I’ve written here fits well with the title of this song (at least I think so):
May you find your own creative unfoldings and steps beyond the patterns that bind.
Gassho!
On the Way 
Apr 19, 2015 @ 00:47:38
Beautiful! Meditation definitely has a blank canvas effect on me. I came home last night from a group meditation and went from peaceful to going through these really intense feelings of detachment from my possessions. It had me evaluating who I am in this moment, which seems to change constantly. The thing is, I don’t keep much. The things I felt detached from are the few things I’ve kept for years out of habit. It feels natural though.. exciting. To not care. it frees you to be genuinely whoever you are in this moment.
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Apr 20, 2015 @ 18:32:35
Thanks for this, Beauty. 🙂 I appreciate the camaraderie on the wonders of meditation, and I understand a bit about what you mean with your experience of being detached. I think that’s a beautiful step forward for you on your path and admire such a feeling. I’ve been gathering too many things in the last few months (especially books, as I just want to learn and grow and grow and grow.. Perhaps the fact that I’m reading fiendishly right now is evident from my various posts here?). Thanks for reminding me that I should aim for such detachment as well.
Gassho!
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Apr 19, 2015 @ 16:27:30
Morning pages are an amazing,mysterious tool. Doing them was what led me to starting my blog and breaking out into new creativity.
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Apr 19, 2015 @ 17:23:12
I’m glad that you do this as well, Sara! Also, I’m thankful to have run across your blog due to this comment. “Embracing Uncertainty”? Sold. Now following!
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Apr 20, 2015 @ 18:08:26
I used to do the morning pages also and loved them. It was like cleaning the attic in a way and I remember how refreshed I felt. I still do journal in the morning, but it’s not as free-wheeling as the morning pages of old. Maybe it’s time I go back and just let the things flow…
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Apr 20, 2015 @ 18:29:00
I’m finding it nice. It’s a good practice. I need to actually read “The Artist’s Way” so that I understand the whole purpose and practice a bit better. I’ve also been dream journalling and recommend that as well.
Cheers!
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