Reactivity

Careening –
Toward, against
Retreating –
Away, behind
Reactivity
On course?
No, bound

Locked, empty, and confused
Seeking to wrest control
From the jaws
Of existential angst
– A threat to overcome
A life overrun

Where is there to be found
A freedom from endless rounds?
– In letting go
In just this

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When you encounter difficulties, the feelings and stories that arise in reaction are just that, feelings and stories. They are whirlwinds of confusion, based not in what is happening now but in deeply held beliefs about you and your relationship to the world. Let them swirl — leaves in the wind. Sometimes you fall back into them and lose touch with the present, but a moment of recognition always comes. Right then, come back to your body, come back to your breath, and rest. The confusion, the stories and the feelings are still there. They continue to swirl, but you are not lost in them.

Just rest. Do not try to control your feelings. Open to all the stories and feelings as much as you can without being consumed by them. You will experience shock, disorientation, anger and self-blaming — reactive mechanisms that protect you from the full impact of what has happened. Sit patiently and let your system sort itself out.

As you rest in the confusion, bit by bit, you separate your confusion from the challenge you are facing. Still the impulse is to oppose. Ask yourself, “What am I opposing?” Then, “Do I need to oppose this?” And, finally, “Is opposing called for at all?”

When you no longer oppose what is happening in you, you are able to rest and see more clearly. What do you see? Look in the resting. Rest in the looking. In doing this, you are mixing awareness with what you experience and what you experience with awareness. Keep coming back to the clarity without losing the stability. Keep coming back to the stability without losing the clarity.

Learn to trust that clarity. Over time it enables you to act without relying on conceptual thinking or strategizing.

– In “Reflections on Silver River: Tokme Zongpo’s Thirty Seven Practices of a Bodhisattva” by Ken McLeod

May this inspire you to rest in your confusion and find the clarity to act with freedom rather than reacting from your stories.

Gassho!

Ode to Port Townsend

Weathered, old, musty
Anachronistic
From days long gone
No longer remembered
Save for pictures
A faulty and impersonal
Memory, at best

Years have marched on
History has been made
Not here, though
Left behind in an earlier time
Forgotten, yet still here
Sharing glimpses of secrets
–A proffered hand full of mysteries

A sublime place
A masquerade where the clock stands still
The town that time forgot
Port Townsend
Playful ghost town kept alive

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Written while adventuring in Washington’s wonderful Olympic Peninsula a couple weeks back. I hope this inspires you to take a trip there as well.

Gassho!

Spring Blooms at the Japanese Gardens

About three weeks back, I went to the Japanese Garden in Seattle again and enjoyed the wonderful spring blossoms with their vibrant colors. I wrote a few haiku poems to express the myriad bright beauties to be seen.

Flames tongues’ joyous spark
Yellow and orange blazing
Blossoms – spring is here!

Color festival
Pinks, purples, whites, reds, yellows
Oh, joy! Sun’s return

Ducks play, pond splashes
Whistling wingbeats on air
Peace of dusk’s blanket

Water sings on rocks
Wisteria hangs above
Pond’s calm embrace: home

Myriad flowers
Ki’s mystery–a wonder
Hues of merriment

Bumblebee dances
Loving sway from bloom to bloom
Each returns this love

Vibrant green’s surprise
Explosions amidst its peace
Pink, purple, red, white

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May this inspire you to joy and peace.

Gassho!

Big Mind/Little Mind

We wander
Lost in thought
Landscapes of inner
Confusion, enchantment

In waking
Absorption
Blossoms vibrantly
Becoming Everything

Mind vibrates
Nothing outside
Wave rolls upon wave
Relative
Part of all
Neither one,
Nor yet two
Little mind; big mind
The waves are
The ocean

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It will take quite a long time before you find your calm, serene mind in your practice. Many sensations come, many thoughts or images arise, but they are just waves of your own mind. Nothing comes from outside your mind. Usually we think of our mind as receiving impressions and experiences from outside, but that is not a true understanding of our mind. The true understanding is that the mind includes everything; when you think something comes from outside it means only that something appears in your mind. Nothing outside yourself can cause any trouble. You yourself make the waves in your mind. If you leave your mind as it is, it will become calm. This mind is called big mind.

If your mind is related to something outside itself, that mind is a small mind, a limited mind. If your mind is not related to anything else, then there is no dualistic understanding in the activity of your mind. You understand activity as just waves of your mind. Big mind experiences everything within itself. Do you understand the difference between the two minds: the mind which includes everything, and the mind which is related to something? Actually they are the same thing, but the understanding is different, and your attitude towards your life will be different according to which understanding you have.

That everything is included within your mind is the essence of mind. To experience this is to have religious feeling. Even though waves arise, the essence of your mind is pure; it is just like clear water with a few waves. Actually water always has waves. Waves are the practice of the water. To speak of waves apart from water or water apart from waves is a delusion. Water and waves are one. Big mind and small mind are one. When you understand your mind in this way, you have some security in your feeling. As your mind does not expect anything from outside, it is always filled. A mind with waves in it is not a disturbed mind, but actually an amplified one. Whatever you experience is an expression of big mind.
– Shunryu Suzuki, from “Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind”


May this help you experience the non-dual nature of the universe.

Gassho!

Rebirth

From dead earth
Life springs anew
Green stalks grow
Bright flowers bloom

Nature’s cycles
Birth, growth, death
Unfolding
In every breath

Before & after
We conceptualize
But Now is
Presence of our lives

Be with this
Each moment – rebirth
This emptiness –
Celestial mirth…

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May this inspire you to presence in the rebirth of every moment. May spring’s blooms help with this inspiration.

Gassho!

Anxiety & Peace

Anxiety
The world – a threat
So many things to do!
So many things that are wrong!
So many dangers that could befall!
Everything must be changed
-Safer, more orderly-
Because “I” am shaken

Is peace truly
A shelter of ego?
An idealized scenario?
Don’t you know–
Everything changes?

Recovery
Finding joy in existence
Whatever arises
Letting go of ego and planning
Just sitting with
And welcoming
–No fear, rather faith–
Compassion & wisdom

Peace is not something to gain
No ordering of the universe
No forcing one’s will
It’s something to lose
The loss of “my” scurrying about

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One Empty Mind

One…
Sun shines through clouds
Birds sing in the wind

Empty…
Breeze blows around compassionate statue
Monks sweep, scrub, and smile

Mind…
All flows–just this moment
Not separate–myself, the mountain

Zen
Buddha Dharma
Everywhere, always–Just This

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May this help you experience the primordial emptiness of mind.

Gassho!

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